This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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