This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
