what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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