Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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