4 words: hood of his car
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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