tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
