If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
