You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
