At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
