good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
