i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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