Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
