When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
