i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
