He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize