I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
