Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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