idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
no, he came in my armpit
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
