I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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