Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
