I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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