yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
