I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
