I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
