is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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