Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I need a beard to bite.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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