): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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