ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize