Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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