i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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