stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just want nice things and good sex
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
