I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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