Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
