The best revenge is premature balding
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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