That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize