areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
