I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
