They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
