we have officially lost it.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Drake has all the answers
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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