Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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