Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
