One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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