Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You brought string cheese to the strip club
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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