I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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