booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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