I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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