who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
