You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
