I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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