My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
