Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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