my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My bed smells like the plague
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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