is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
