All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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