Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
