Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
