Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
